Excerpt from Newsletter 3

Two Basic Camps

In working with couples, I've observed two common ways of experiencing and responding to difference:

1.) Difference as a form of rejection/ abandonment.

People in this camp can have difficulty because they experience a disagreement as a withdrawal of love, support or respect. It can feel like being left, abandoned, or not worth understanding.

2.) Difference as a form of criticism/ judgment.

People in this camp experience difference as implying there is something wrong with who they are for thinking or behaving the way they do.